THANK YOU for all of your sweet comments on our big news!!! I loved reading them, and they all made me smile 🙂 I’m not planning on turning this into a pregnancy blog per say, but it is obviously going to be a heavy topic for the next few months, mainly for my own sake. Hopefully you’ll enjoy following along on this crazy ride!!
These weeks are starting to fly by! I can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing! I’m back with another weekly update for you all. Like I said before, I jotted down these “notes” as they were happening, and I’m so glad I did! It’s so funny to look back and see what my thoughts and feelings were each week. One day it will be nice to be able to compare my next (Lord willing) pregnancy with this one! I always enjoy reading other bloggers’ honest thoughts and experiences, so hopefully you enjoy mine! No sugar coating here!
Being a mom was something I wanted for years. I dreamed of having my career as a top notch bad b–ch along with having a daughter at my hand. This was all due to a dream I had starting from age 7 till 16 years old. Where I was see a tiny bit more of the dream until the end when I learned her name and what she looked like.. Since then I didn’t see the dream anymore.
From 7 years old till 11 I would be in a field, older and with a daughter around the age of 7 or 8 playing in sunflower fields above our heads. We had a picnic basket and blankets every time with this green colored outdoor blanket. As I type this I realize I own this blanket with cherry print on the back side that I bought from Target two (2) years ago. I would hear her laugh and ask “mommy help me pick this” which I would smile and respond “no hunny you got this! Your so strong.” Then I would wake up. Every. Single. Time.
From 11 – almost 16 I would see a little more and hear more things. The voice of her so soft upon my ears and a strong sense of love towards her. I’m noticing the color of her skin more which is a soft caramel or yellowish which is much darker than mine with long black hair that is straight yet thick as mine. Lots of laughter and she picks a sunflower as she spins around I see it in her hand then I go to look at her face.. Wake up.. Every. Time for 5 years.
16 years old I slowly saw more and more of her face. Her bright smile and her dark brown hazel eyes. The way i wanted to hold her and love her every time I woke up. She was mine and I wanted to know her name already. Its like it has been within me all these years. She would run up to me with the sunflower in hand so happy she did it. I would congratulate her as I handed her a pop sickle as it seemed to be turning fall.
Then it happened.. I said her name. I woke up instantly after and I Haven’t seen the dream since. I’ve recalled that name for years and to go so long having the dream then to never have it anymore.. It kills me. But In my heart that is the name I love and still feel fondness when I say it. Its very special to me and I have no other reason than that dream. It was then I was having dreams of marriage as well with a man with black hair, somewhat long and skin of the same shade of the daughters.
Its amazing how these things happen really!
So you know names have already been picked and discussed for compromises. A boy name obviously picked just in case it is a boy but middle august I had a dream that I gave birth to a Mathis Valentino which is the name we picked for our baby boy if we have a boy. I remember waking up from stretching in my dream and felt myself touch something which woke me up.. Turned out i stretched for real and had pushed against significant others face which woke us both up.
Now onto the random thoughts I had during the first few weeks after the positive test.
I gotten all the thoughts I had written down and kept in my little Ovia Pregnancy app while I tracked moods, cravings and anything else I needed to remember later on.
Weeks 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10
- I still can not handle the smell of seaweed.
- I surprisingly look amazing although I haven’t pooped in like.. forever.
- Worried about traveling while pregnant because 10+ hour car rides and the desire to eat everything.
- Why must my boobs hurt so much?? I just woke up!!
- The desire to eat everything, even after I am food has caused me to feel more sick on occasions. Can not control my eating at all.
- Pants are starting to not fit. Not happy about this.
- Can’t remember the last time I saw 11:30pm…
- Too scared to start shopping for maternity clothes but have researched everything regarding maternity clothes.
- Looked into baby wish lists on Amazon and Target. I like target more!
- Its unbearably hot and i’m over reacting due to its only 78 degrees in June. He prompts the “You can’t handle heat at all” which i glare at him.
- Randomly the smell of meat turned me off to food; Ate beef for dinner tho!
- Not allowed to carry any bags, groceries or anything.
- Strong desire for salty foods. I need all the salty foods and chocolate.
- My work shoes are now too tight and squeeze my poor feet. I now do not wear them when I do not need to at work. Happily wear house slippers at work.
- A weird thing has appeared under my teas, little red dots and tough skin pealing. I feel super uneasy about this and want it to go away!!!
- The weird thing bothers me while I walk around. Feels like a sharp sting when it makes contact with the floor. Maybe a weird blister? or I’m dying…
- Surprisingly have not thrown up at all.. Although I get all the other morning sickness around 6pm-11pm every. Single. Night.
- Prenatal vitamins are so tasty I could eat them all the time. Forget to take fish oils and other vitamins like my st. johns wart. Feeling extremely anxious and scared.
- The struggle to wake up at 7:40am at the latest is real.
- The girls have definitely gotten bigger…i’m not happy about this as they are already big and hard to find bras. I guess that’s a fun side effect for now. I enjoy the girls looking thicker tho.
- God my boobs hurt.
- Last night we (8 1/2 weeks) had grilled cheese & I went to bed right at 9 for the second night in a row because I just felt awful and so tired.
- Oh the fruit smoothies as well as Ruffles, Goldfish, Saltines, Chipotle, moes, BBQ places, (ate my first hamburger in a long time. Love is in amazement and super tickled about it), Taco bell, all the Asian food spiciness and Mexican foods.
- First ultrasound, found out I had twins (one made it!) and saw the heartbeat. I now understand why its called a starfish.
- Due back in a week!
- Feeling a little bit better, pretty tired at night still, but was able to take a few long walks over the weekend.
- Apparently need to take progesterone cause its way too low. Scared me a lot.
- Progesterone knocks me out so I take both right at bedtime and will be asleep almost all night.
- Same cravings and aversions as weeks 6-8.
- I’ve been waking up once or twice in the night to go to the bathroom, which I’m assuming is now going to happen the rest of my life! (yay…)
- Why do i always wake up at 5am?? Like always!!
- Progesterone taste awful but i like I’m not having any issues falling asleep.
- Last ultrasound before august! Baby and I are doing well.
- Road trip to Louisiana! Shreveport to see my grandma & dad while attending his family reunion.
- I slept almost the entire ride.
- OMG!! Salty needs! I need saly (chips were bought halfway through road trip.. We didn’t have enough apparently lol)
- Talk his father we are pregnant. He had a emotional moment and so excited! I nervously smiled happy as love grabbed my hand while his dad was taking it all in. Glad he was already sitting.
- Scared to sleep on my back or right side..
- Woke up on right side and freaked myself out.
- I’m tired of fricken cinnamon roles. I can barely eat one from the amount of sweetness great aunt hazel is putting me through.
- Managing morning sickness while on “vacation” was like a delicate balance of always having food in my stomach, timing our meals, staying hydrated, and resting. I think I overdid it on the last day though – we were outside all Saturday and the sun was shining down on us most of the day. Little step- cousin was so cute demanding I help her with bubbles. Shes like 3 years old!
- I slept so much omg.
- -Day 1 has been a little rough, actually stayed up a little and went back to sleep.. Thank goodness my weeks start on a sunday.
- Struggling to stay awake at work, and I went to sleep at 8pm!!
- Ultrasound went great!!! HR of 168. I also weighed 168, up by 20 lbs already since the first appointment. In my mind I’d really gained like 35 lbs. I’m so ready to get back to eating healthy foods!!! So far it’s been a feast of nonstop carbs. I’m really not too concerned with weight at this point, I just want to make sure I do keep an eye on it and stay in a healthy range.
- Currently LOVING mexican food (still!), pizza, salt & vinegar chips, funions, grilled cheese, mac & cheese, sour cream & union chips, and pretzels. Still pretty much eating crappy dinners every night that isn’t fully healthy but i get a full serving of protein and veggies.
- Told to minimize my coffee consumption to one cup a day.. The Dr. said I can have one small glass of red wine each night. I was shocked by this! I have yet to drink any.
- -This week I’ve just been absolutely exhausted, which I know I can not contribute it to anything besides pregnancy.
- Love woke me up at 3am in pain. Gave him meds while I barely can function.
- Left work early to take care of love and talk him into going to the clinic.
- 6pm: going to the ER. So tired and hungry.
- Mom arrives with snacks and such.. Yay i was hungry and this helps so much!!
- Mom asked if i’m pregnant and I said no.. Just gaining cause desk job… Idk how much longer this will hold up and she looked super upset about no grand baby.
- Left hospital at 6am finally; text work. Am off so I can rest and help love get medication and such. Arrived at mothers house at 4 or 5 pm to “pick up a few things”. We lied and were there to tell her “when you wanna go baby clothes shopping?” she then laughed and screeched. SHe was over the moon excited.
- We will be 11 weeks on Sunday, and I’m determined to start the “bump photos.” although i’m sitting low and to the back.. SO i’m not sure the “bump photos” will look like a baby belly.
- Apparently i’m not allowed to carry anything according to love even though he is reco.
- I felt you move.. *flutters* randomly while day dreaming on what I should eat.
Somehow I can not gather the energy to go walking nor wake up for anything. I’m surprised my alarms are able to wake me up for work every morning so far.